Years ago I met a guy in a bar. We exchanged social platform contact details and IM addresses. He was hot but clearly just looking to push some pussy that night and nothing more. At the time we exchanged contact details, I made it clear, the last thing he’d be pushing was me which he was fine about. That night he ended up fucking a friend of mine. She never saw or heard from him after.
We never stayed in touch. In fact, I thought he was a massive dick head. Cracking onto me then ending up screwing my friend? But then around 6 months later, during the summer, I had broken up with someone and needed to fulfil some needs. Knowing this guy would be easy and my friendship with the girl he screwed had pretty much fizzled out, I IM-ed him and we began to chat. I was surprised when he started suggesting we saw some art house films and maybe went to some galleries together etc. At the time, I thought he was just trying to sugar coat the potential hook up I was fishing for so I played along with it. After all, months ago my friend had given me details so I knew already what I was buying into….
We arranged a drink in the city. He bought me a beer and we began to chat. Initially, I thought it was polite mandatory chat as he seemed to ask me lots of ‘get to know you’ questions…you know, he was working pretty hard to get in my pants which I found strange because I thought I’d made it clear I didn’t care for airy fairy dating bull shit, I just wanted sex. I was getting bored. I didn’t want to get to know him, I just wanted to fuck him that night. I cut to the chase and suggested we ditch our beers and head to his.
When we got back to his, I thought it’d be a case of up against the wall, pants down, pump etc but he began to do weird shit like show me his oven and where he writes his articles (he was/is a music writer), the magazines he’s written for… I was confused. Was he being innocent? Dumb? Trying to make out this was something it wasn’t? All the signals I was giving him were “I’m not interested in you as a person, I just want your body tonight” but he was coming back at me with excerpts of his life. It got overwhelming when he started showing me photos… At that stage I said to him plain and simple
“Hey, you don’t have to do all this, shall we just go to the bedroom?”
So off we went. We did the business and we went to sleep. I have to admit, I had my mind on other things like how I was going to get to work the next day bearing in mind, I was working well out of town. At around 5am I woke up, looked over at him sleeping and thought “God, I need to get to get the hell out of here”. I grabbed my clothes and shoes, got dressed and tip toed out the door.
Thinking back, I remember laughing all the way to the train station. I found the whole hook up hilarious.
About two weeks later, I signed into my IM chat and he instantly started a conversation with me. It went a bit like this:
“What happened to you? You left not even a good bye? What happened to going to galleries and seeing films together?”
I was BEYOND shocked. Was he for real? As IF I would even consider taking him seriously! So I replied…
“Erm, sorry, I didn’t say good bye because it was 5am when I left and you were asleep and if I am honest with you, I thought it was just sex.”
“But you could have woken me up? I woke up and you were gone. You made me feel like shit, like I did something wrong.”
What!???!!!! Like when he felt bad for NOT contacting my friend after he shagged her? What DOUBLE STANDARDS! At this stage I told him I had work to do and closed down the IM. It was mental. I was literally gob smacked.
This got me thinking, it’s ok for men to shag around having one nighters and then not contacting the girl after YET when a women proceeds to do the same, it’s not on? I’m not being funny, but if he chooses to be such an easy lay then what does he expect? Also, what planet was he on? As IF I would want to have a relationship with someone who is literally THAT easy and on top of that, someone who has shagged my friend? Fair enough, I would have never gone there had my friendship with her lasted BUT at the same time, that’s not cool.
Years later he still contacts me for a hook up….
According to men, women are mental. I beg to differ.