January 2011
7 posts
7 tags
The Man Sex
Years ago I met a guy in a bar. We exchanged social platform contact details and IM addresses. He was hot but clearly just looking to push some pussy that night and nothing more. At the time we exchanged contact details, I made it clear, the last thing he’d be pushing was me which he was fine about. That night he ended up fucking a friend of mine. She never saw or heard from him after.
We never...
7 tags
"Yes, Maybe I Am Horny...."
Mamma Couga said:
?
hey
how are you?
oscar says:
good
ou
Mamma Couga says:
i a good
*am
thanks
can i ask a personal question?
oscar says:
yes
Mamma Couga says:
if you were in bed with me, what would you do?
oscar says:
are you horny?
Mamma Couga says:
no
just asking you a question
oscar says:
so many things
you´ll love them
Mamma Couga says:
i'm sure I will love them but what are they?
oscar says:
spread your legs, let me lick you real good
Mamma Couga says:
and that is it?!
oscar says:
with my tongue
well, youll love it
im good at that
Mamma Couga says:
i'm glad but that won't be enough for me...I'd need more
oscar says:
i ´ll finger you while i lick your pussy
i´ll lie in bed and you´ll ride me
while you stare at me
and suck my finger
Mamma Couga says:
you like finger sucking?
ok...and then?
oscar says:
yes i love it
i want you to suck it
and look at me
all teh way down
lick my balls
and tocuh yourself
Mamma Couga says:
only if they are clean!
oscar says:
what?
tey are always clean
Mamma Couga says:
good
when can we make this happen?
oscar says:
what woudl you do to me?
Mamma Couga says:
you would have to wait and see
oscar says:
thats not fair
Mamma Couga says:
a girl never reveals her secrets....
oscar says:
im hard now
Mamma Couga says:
wow that was fast
oscar says:
yeah
Mamma Couga says:
when can we make this little chat a reality?
oscar says:
as soon as you come here o viceversa
Mamma Couga says:
viceversa,,,i like the lion to come to the den
oscar says:
that means i have to there
have to go...
Mamma Couga says:
yes you do and make it fast because I have needs and they need fullfilling!
oscar says:
i think you are horny, but you dont wanna regnosie it
recognise
Mamma Couga says:
yes maybe i am horny
Anonymous asked: okay so me and my boyfriend have really wonderful sex...when i rub *down there* during it. i don't know what the problem is. i can't have a orgasm without doing it. are there some positions we could do to make it easier? because its getting frustrating to reach from whatever position i'm in to do it.
Anonymous asked: dear mother cougar,
how do you feel about dating single fathers?
how do you feel about dating single fathers?
rairahrah asked: Man, that 19 year old anonymous kid seems to have never checked his own male privilege.
You go Mama Cougar!
You go Mama Cougar!
Anonymous asked: Hi "Mama Cougar".
Firstly, I'm 19 and I'm a male. I'm also "anonymous", for now.
I was put onto your blog by one of your loyal followers. I've had a read through your blog, and I have quite a few questions:
1 – So who was this “son of a bitch” that triggered the hostility towards males?
Yes, I’ll...
Firstly, I'm 19 and I'm a male. I'm also "anonymous", for now.
I was put onto your blog by one of your loyal followers. I've had a read through your blog, and I have quite a few questions:
1 – So who was this “son of a bitch” that triggered the hostility towards males?
Yes, I’ll...
melodyweaver asked: Aw, I'm so happy to hear you found yourself a good man that treats you well. And to answer your question from a while ago, I know I would still love reading your blog even if you were in a relationship. I'm sure there are still wild stories to be told, then again you might not want to share them if it's serious between you two haha. Either way, I think you should fill us in every...
December 2010
7 posts
thisispayback-deactivated201107 asked: Well I can not speak for everyone I will continue to enjoy your blog. =]
I felt this deserved its own hook up! →
This link was sent to me by a follower…rather amusing I must say and my boyfriend has already told me, he refuses to make a donation for a trial run….
egg-custard-tart-deactivated201 asked: Mother Coug! I'm so happy you've found a good guy! I was wondering where you had gotten to!
Anonymous asked: Hello mother cougar, I was just wondering why guys are such amazing fuckheads ? Recently my boyfriend of one year dumped me over text and gave no reason. We share many mutual friends and he has told all of them different reasons for dumping me. Not one i would consider legit... It's shit like 'we had a fight' (which we didn't) and 'she was nasty to me'...
Anonymous asked: Hey Mama Cougar,
I was wondering if you'd seen this, my friend told me about it and it made me think of your posts you wrote a while ago...
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/5198959
I was wondering if you'd seen this, my friend told me about it and it made me think of your posts you wrote a while ago...
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/5198959
lusus-ardere asked: MC, is it worth it to pursue a "thing" with a hot guy although he is an asshole? Does a boat and a nice car make up for personality issues?
Anonymous asked: dear momma cougar...
i recently got married. *yay* but...im thinking it was wrong. im scared. i havent told a SOUL and im worried that when he deploys in january...i wont survive. i do love him. but im scared. i dont want to leave him...im so conflicted. help.
i recently got married. *yay* but...im thinking it was wrong. im scared. i havent told a SOUL and im worried that when he deploys in january...i wont survive. i do love him. but im scared. i dont want to leave him...im so conflicted. help.
October 2010
4 posts
7 tags
Yes, Its With The Neighbour....
…so I haven’t moved on with him infact, I moved in with him - well, pretty much.
Take it from me and I’m a girl with some lip, when a guy looks into your eyes and tells you he’s going to miss your verbal abuse, you know its love.
All those late night chats, cups of tea, biscuits and stupid stories led into an immediately intense friendship which quickly accelerated into a...
5 tags
This Is Where I am Right Now...
Dear Followers Of Mother Cougar Blog,
It’s been a month since my last post and I gotta admit…I feel guilty especially when I see all the unanswered mails.
The truth is, I’ve fallen into a relationship and its actually GOOD. Do you want to know about it? Will it make you laugh as much to read updates of my happy healthy love life with a man that is as far from creepy, weird,...
thisispayback-deactivated201107 asked: Momma! Where are you? I do not know if I am a big fan of the disapearing act, I can only hope your doing many naughty things while your away and I look forward to hearing about it.
Anonymous asked: Mother Cougar I miss you and your funny posts. Come back soon and update us! :)
August 2010
26 posts
7 tags
The Guy With The Banjo String Issue....
I recently read on a forum about a guy who snapped his banjo string and this got me remembering a certain date who had ‘issues’ with his too.
Now, for those who aren’t aware, the banjo string is the nick name for the piece of flesh which sort of connects the bell end to the foreskin. Next time you have a bloke’s nob to hand, have a little inspection and you’ll see what I mean.
So basically when I...
I Had To....
….delete my last post….it put me off my breakfast!
Cougarized
Anonymous asked: Dear MC, I met this new guy and was becoming quick friends with him. We've known each other for almost a month and then I got drunk at his place and had the stupidity to have sex with him. He gave me the whole bullshit that we would still be friends after it, but he's been basically distant for the past few days. In about a week, I have the high probability of running into him. And I...
Anonymous asked: Is it okay for my boyfriend to choose when he wants to be a boyfriend? For example, he'll go 2-4 days without talking to me. No text, no call, nothing. I'm adjusted to this 'neglect' but on some nights when I really want to call he shuts me off for his games. All the time. he plays his games during the day and at night until 4 in the morning. We got into a fight about this and...
Anonymous asked: I hope this doesn't sound weird but i've been dating this guy for about a year and a half and we have A LOT of sex. I'm just kinda getting worried that maybe he will only want me for sex. We have a pretty good relationship, but when we hang out its like we can't resist each other. After we're done, we hangout and talk and go out places. I don't know if we should like...
10 tags
Stop Talking Floppy Cock
So I’ve been told by a member of the male species that there are three levels of cock hardness….
There’s the floppy unsightly droopy hardness which really shouldn’t be called a hardness as it resembles more a melted cheese. I’d say the smell is similar too especially after a day of sweating around the bollocks. What good is the floppy cock anyway? Shouldn’t it be...
Anonymous asked: Hey Mother Cougar, I'm so, so happy to see you posting again, I missed my fix of your incredibly hilarious and insightful rants about the men of today!
I read all about how in your apartment building you successfully seduced the guy downstairs, you go girl! Oh, the perks of having an attractive guy living downstairs, with sex on tap. When I have my own apartment I can only hope for...
I read all about how in your apartment building you successfully seduced the guy downstairs, you go girl! Oh, the perks of having an attractive guy living downstairs, with sex on tap. When I have my own apartment I can only hope for...
Anonymous asked: my boyfriend likes it when i touch his dick
but he keeps his boxers on?
LOL sounds lame right?
but i dont wanna touch it without them on
so what can i do while he still has his underwear on?
but he keeps his boxers on?
LOL sounds lame right?
but i dont wanna touch it without them on
so what can i do while he still has his underwear on?
Anonymous asked: Hey Mother Cougar!
First off, I love your blog. It's so refreshingly empowering to read after listening to lengthy, whining stories from girlfriends about men. It's just great.
Anyway, I've been dating this guy on and off for almost two years. He's been a royal douchebag in the past. He has been known in the past, for example, for breaking...
First off, I love your blog. It's so refreshingly empowering to read after listening to lengthy, whining stories from girlfriends about men. It's just great.
Anyway, I've been dating this guy on and off for almost two years. He's been a royal douchebag in the past. He has been known in the past, for example, for breaking...
10 tags
Why Women Are Attracted To Bastards
I’ll tell you right now why us dappy mere women are more attracted to bastards than good guys…. It’s because if a guy is nice, he’s needy and if he’s needy its not nice…its off putting…sex drive killing even. No one really lusts over a needy NICE guy, right? Nice guys are either gay or ugly or plain and simply boring WHEN comparing them to the bastard stereotype of a...
maybemaybe asked: Mama Cougar, my boyfriend loves me as much as he loves his dog. I feel so weird....! What do I do?
peter-punk asked: Are you feeling bitter?
Anonymous asked: Mother Cougar,
I've been struggling to get over an ex for well over a year now. I know this must be an annoying question, but is there a way for me to get over it with less of a struggle?
P.S: I love your blog!
Thank you for your time (:
<3
I've been struggling to get over an ex for well over a year now. I know this must be an annoying question, but is there a way for me to get over it with less of a struggle?
P.S: I love your blog!
Thank you for your time (:
<3
la-ritournelle-deactivated20100 asked: Yay! Mama Coug has returned! My dashboard is regaining it's sense of normality! I've really missed your hilarious posts!
Anonymous asked: Momma Cougar, you scared me when you left for so long.
I though I was never gonna have my momma coug.s' back.):
I though I was never gonna have my momma coug.s' back.):
6 tags
An APOLOGY From Mother Cougar
To all who follow me and my blog….I owe you a huge apology. I have totally neglected posting on here and I deserve a slap on the wrist if not my arse - which, I can tell you, I quite like in the right situation….
As you may have read, I began to post about my little neighbour from downstairs….the reason I have been absent from the blog is because I have been hugely present in the bedroom.
Who...
rarghgaafar-deactivated20111221 asked: Thank god you are back ♥
Anonymous asked: HELP!
i can't please him in bed, and he can't please me. how on earth do i make it happen!!!!
i can't please him in bed, and he can't please me. how on earth do i make it happen!!!!
zalpz asked: I'm constantly struggling to get myself into a relationship, only to have the girl fall in love with me. Then trying my hardest to get out because of commitment issues. What ends up happening is these girls get hung up on me and don't move on... I know this is all bad behavior but my desires weight a lot on my being so I find myself satisfying them all too often.
What...
What...
Anonymous asked: Hey Mama Cougar,
I'm 17 and every time I hook up with a guy I start to like him afterwards, even if I keep telling myself that it's a one off thing. aargh it's so annoying! Will I grow out of it?? Because it has made this thing I had with a backpacker who has now left the country and whom I will never see again very annoying haha
Thanks Mama xx
I'm 17 and every time I hook up with a guy I start to like him afterwards, even if I keep telling myself that it's a one off thing. aargh it's so annoying! Will I grow out of it?? Because it has made this thing I had with a backpacker who has now left the country and whom I will never see again very annoying haha
Thanks Mama xx
alexandreadoran asked: I used to look so forward to your hysterical posts. Please write soon!
vroomgetic asked: So your man texts you in the morning and says that he is incredibly horny. You play with him a bit via text and ask if he woke up hard. He responds by saying that he did, and that he dream about eating random pussy. You ask random pussy? And he says, yeah some random pussy, not yours, I know yours ;D. What is your initial reaction?
mariatomato asked: Mamma Coug! Where are youuu?? Hope you're doing okay. :)
*hugs from your fave follower x
*hugs from your fave follower x
larzuhpalooza asked: mama cougar where have you been?! i miss your stories : (
anyways, i have a bit of a situation. you see i texted one young man out of boredom and just started teasing him. he send me a picture of himself... down there. he asked me to send me a nude picture but i DENIED that. the thing is, i feel like a really big slut for doing this, despite the fact that i'm a virgin &plan on...
anyways, i have a bit of a situation. you see i texted one young man out of boredom and just started teasing him. he send me a picture of himself... down there. he asked me to send me a nude picture but i DENIED that. the thing is, i feel like a really big slut for doing this, despite the fact that i'm a virgin &plan on...
Anonymous asked: Okay so I've been working at this ice cream shop for about two, maybe three months now. My manager/boss is only about seven years older than I am (he's 26), and I am crushing on him hard. The thing is, he flirts back, and has on numerous occasions "jokingly" (where you wonder if they're really serious) asked if we could make out. I know he doesn't believe that...
thisispayback-deactivated201107 asked: Hope your doing well and staying out of 'trouble' per say.. well not totally out of trouble. I hope your engaging in an appropriate amount of trouble.
Adore reading your blog.
Adore reading your blog.
July 2010
2 posts
mariatomato asked: Mamma Coug, is daily masturbation okay? I mean, won't I have a few complications down there if I do it that regularly? Just kinda concerned.
Anyway, I missed you! *hugs
--Maria. x
Anyway, I missed you! *hugs
--Maria. x
vroomgetic asked: Mother cougar! Where have you been, what is busying you?
June 2010
14 posts
13 tags
Facebook Chat: The Downstairs Neighbour's Status:...
Cougarized Commented: Which of the fruits are you eating today? BTW, I had 2.5 hours sleep.
The Downstairs Neighbour Comment: Plum, Peach and Apricot. I might have a kip under my desk this afternoon.
Cougarized Comment: Wow impressive….I’m going home to have a kip.
The Downstairs Neighbour Comment: Just had the peach ….. juicy
Cougarized Comment: I can tell you want the back...
8 tags
The Downstairs Neighbour Pt.2
So I’m playing my music and I don’t think I’m playing it all that loud when I hear someone from the flat below banging on the ceiling under my bedroom floor. I initially ignored it but then decided to pop down to the neighbour and see what his beef was. I mean, after having slept in the same bed and had ‘pillow talk’ minus the actual action, I felt it would have been...
Anonymous asked: I'm dating this guy and I really like him. The thing is, I'm a girl and I'm not a virgin. But he is and he wants to lose it to me but I don't want that pressure. What do I do?
9 tags
Apparently The Monkey Face Is All The ‘Rage’...
It was brought to my attention that this great new sexy technique most commonly known as ‘The Monkey Face’ is all the rage.
If you’ve tried it, please DO let me know your thoughts because frankly it has to be the biggest load of man mental created bollocks I have ever heard.
Firstly this bull shit move involves your man shaving off his bollock pubes. Now girls, seriously, who likes bald balls?...