Years ago I met a guy in a bar. We exchanged social platform contact details and IM addresses. He was hot but clearly just looking to push some pussy that night and nothing more. At the time we exchanged contact details, I made it clear, the last thing he’d be pushing was me which he was fine about. That night he ended up fucking a friend of mine. She never saw or heard from him after.
We never stayed in touch. In fact, I thought he was a massive dick head. Cracking onto me then ending up screwing my friend? But then around 6 months later, during the summer, I had broken up with someone and needed to fulfil some needs. Knowing this guy would be easy and my friendship with the girl he screwed had pretty much fizzled out, I IM-ed him and we began to chat. I was surprised when he started suggesting we saw some art house films and maybe went to some galleries together etc. At the time, I thought he was just trying to sugar coat the potential hook up I was fishing for so I played along with it. After all, months ago my friend had given me details so I knew already what I was buying into….
We arranged a drink in the city. He bought me a beer and we began to chat. Initially, I thought it was polite mandatory chat as he seemed to ask me lots of ‘get to know you’ questions…you know, he was working pretty hard to get in my pants which I found strange because I thought I’d made it clear I didn’t care for airy fairy dating bull shit, I just wanted sex. I was getting bored. I didn’t want to get to know him, I just wanted to fuck him that night. I cut to the chase and suggested we ditch our beers and head to his.
When we got back to his, I thought it’d be a case of up against the wall, pants down, pump etc but he began to do weird shit like show me his oven and where he writes his articles (he was/is a music writer), the magazines he’s written for… I was confused. Was he being innocent? Dumb? Trying to make out this was something it wasn’t? All the signals I was giving him were “I’m not interested in you as a person, I just want your body tonight” but he was coming back at me with excerpts of his life. It got overwhelming when he started showing me photos… At that stage I said to him plain and simple
“Hey, you don’t have to do all this, shall we just go to the bedroom?”
So off we went. We did the business and we went to sleep. I have to admit, I had my mind on other things like how I was going to get to work the next day bearing in mind, I was working well out of town. At around 5am I woke up, looked over at him sleeping and thought “God, I need to get to get the hell out of here”. I grabbed my clothes and shoes, got dressed and tip toed out the door.
Thinking back, I remember laughing all the way to the train station. I found the whole hook up hilarious.
About two weeks later, I signed into my IM chat and he instantly started a conversation with me. It went a bit like this:
“What happened to you? You left not even a good bye? What happened to going to galleries and seeing films together?”
I was BEYOND shocked. Was he for real? As IF I would even consider taking him seriously! So I replied…
“Erm, sorry, I didn’t say good bye because it was 5am when I left and you were asleep and if I am honest with you, I thought it was just sex.”
“But you could have woken me up? I woke up and you were gone. You made me feel like shit, like I did something wrong.”
What!???!!!! Like when he felt bad for NOT contacting my friend after he shagged her? What DOUBLE STANDARDS! At this stage I told him I had work to do and closed down the IM. It was mental. I was literally gob smacked.
This got me thinking, it’s ok for men to shag around having one nighters and then not contacting the girl after YET when a women proceeds to do the same, it’s not on? I’m not being funny, but if he chooses to be such an easy lay then what does he expect? Also, what planet was he on? As IF I would want to have a relationship with someone who is literally THAT easy and on top of that, someone who has shagged my friend? Fair enough, I would have never gone there had my friendship with her lasted BUT at the same time, that’s not cool.
Years later he still contacts me for a hook up….
According to men, women are mental. I beg to differ.
Cougarized
Anonymous asked: okay so me and my boyfriend have really wonderful sex...when i rub *down there* during it. i don't know what the problem is. i can't have a orgasm without doing it. are there some positions we could do to make it easier? because its getting frustrating to reach from whatever position i'm in to do it.
Sorry, where is it you are rubbing? Are you rubbing yourself or his cock shaft?
Personally I am a selfish lover and prefer a beta male who does all the work. If I find myself rubbing muself for any other reason than an itch, I know he ain’t working hard enough in the bedroom.
I am not surprised you are getting frustrated…this guy obviously doesn’t know how to get you off! By that I mean give you the horn and follow through.
Good luck!
Love,
Mamma Cougar
Anonymous asked: dear mother cougar,
how do you feel about dating single fathers?
Hm. Men are bagage enough, do you really want to take on one withc increased bagage?
It really depends. Personally, I wouldn’t go there. I can’t be dealing with added stress of an ex wife or ex mistress and a bunch of offspring that didn’t come from me.
Just my opinion…..
MC
rairahrah asked: Man, that 19 year old anonymous kid seems to have never checked his own male privilege.
You go Mama Cougar!
He needs to spend more time worrying about polishing his balls as opposed to bombarding me with his teenage angst.
xx
Anonymous asked: Hi "Mama Cougar".
Firstly, I'm 19 and I'm a male. I'm also "anonymous", for now.
I was put onto your blog by one of your loyal followers. I've had a read through your blog, and I have quite a few questions:
1 – So who was this “son of a bitch” that triggered the hostility towards males?
Yes, I’ll agree: there are a lot of asshole Males… but you don’t even give leeway to there being nice guys out there, you just dismiss the nice guys as being “needy”… which, really, isn’t a characteristic of a Nice Guy.
2 - How come you never post a photo of yourself? How do we know you're not some sex-and-the-city/gossip-girl crazed seventeen year old with a runaway imagination? And yes, I know, says the anonymous poster, right? Still… ?
3 – How would you feel if the roles were reversed, and you saw Male was writing about Females in the manner that you write about Males? For example, based on what you’ve said about males and applying the idea:
“I’m a middle aged male, I’m here to write about my experiences with dating. In my blogs I’ll explore:
- Why a woman that’s too skinny (or too fat) is useless,
- Why bailing on a Woman because she’s a lousy lay is the Right thing to do,
- Passive aggressive ways of punishing your girlfriend, including Laxatives in her food…
… and along the way I’ll advise younger Males that the best way to get over a girl is to put a dart board up with her photo, invite a few friends around and ‘spike the shit out of it with darts’.”
How’s that read to you? Sounds like a charmer to me.
4 – Statement first, then a question tying in with that: Try this.
On your post titled “Don’t Be Surprised If He Calls You ‘Mental’” you stated: “It’s what keeps him warm in bed when he is thinking about all the nasty shit he did to his ex… it allows him to hide behind the fact he was a total twat – no doubt.”
Let me begin by saying: My ex girlfriend was, and is, mental. I tell anyone who asks about her, verbatim: She was, and still is, Mental.
I initially thought it was great, I really liked her. We didn’t have sex, as she said she wanted to wait and “get to know each other more first”, which I respected. Our mutual friends told me she never stopped talking about me and had incredibly strong feelings for me – which at the time, made me feel great.
A bit over two months in, I was informed that she’d been having sex with five different guys all the while she was with me. She then pulled the: “I’m now on mood stabilizers because I can’t handle why he (me) doesn’t just let me sleep around and still be his one and only… /starts crying.” to our mutual friends.
Lemme repeat: She’s Mental. Not because I treated her badly and I’m compensating, not because I wasn’t seemingly making her happy, but because she wanted to lead on multiple males just to make herself feel good about number one.
Now, there’s the statement, here’s the question: In your opinion, judging from the story: is she “mental”? or is she just a girl doing what a girl Should do – which in turn, is: screw it up with someone who liked her for who she was… or, at least, who she pretended to be…
Hello 19 year old anon male….
Here’s some fruity answers for you my son.
Take care.
Love,
Mamma Couga.
melodyweaver asked: Aw, I'm so happy to hear you found yourself a good man that treats you well. And to answer your question from a while ago, I know I would still love reading your blog even if you were in a relationship. I'm sure there are still wild stories to be told, then again you might not want to share them if it's serious between you two haha. Either way, I think you should fill us in every once in a while because he's nice to hear about awesome people (a.k.a. you :D) in happy relationships xD. Good luck xD.
Hey,
Sorry for such a delayed reply. Life has taken a hold of me and yes, being in a relationship has prevented me from dating and therefore, meeting more loons to write about.
Xxx
thisispayback-deactivated201107 asked: Well I can not speak for everyone I will continue to enjoy your blog. =]
Thanks!! I’ve spent the festive period having lots of sex to work off the copious cake consumption.
It’s been hard work…xx
I felt this deserved its own hook up! -
This link was sent to me by a follower…rather amusing I must say and my boyfriend has already told me, he refuses to make a donation for a trial run….
egg-custard-tart-deactivated201 asked: Mother Coug! I'm so happy you've found a good guy! I was wondering where you had gotten to!
I am fully in the depths of relationship-hood. It always seems like a good idea at the start and then you start to realise, you prefered when your pillows didn’t smell of man’s greasey hair.
Hey ho….One can’t have it all!!
x