It was brought to my attention that this great new sexy technique most commonly known as ‘The Monkey Face’ is all the rage.

If you’ve tried it, please DO let me know your thoughts because frankly it has to be the biggest load of man mental created bollocks I have ever heard.

Firstly this bull shit move involves your man shaving off his bollock pubes. Now girls, seriously, who likes bald balls? Mans genitalia was meant to be hidden…who the hell really enjoys looking at it for longer than it takes a dude to slip on a johny. Know what I’m saying?

So here’s the party trick, he keeps his shaved pube hair – possibly on the bedroom cabinet or in a dirty little bush on the floor by your pillow or whatever. He then pulls the moves on you and just at the crucial point of cumming spunks off in your face. Yep, shoots right off up there.

Wow what a porn movie huh? Oh no but it doesn’t end there… he then makes a quick dash for his shaved pube bush which I’d imagine by this point is steaming with stench smells just lying there and chucks it in your face on top of the cum.

It’s a bit like a sexual egg and flouring but seriously, is this hot?

“Hey honey, hang tough for a sec whilst I shoot off in your face and then grab my pubes to chuck at you”

I’ll tell you what this is: its leaving a man alone to think too long. Its a fucking dangerous state of affairs!!

Check this nonsense out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=monkey%20face

Cougarized.