So there is a guy I have known for YEARS and we are, let’s say,’friends’ now.

Anyway, he started dating a girl and to be honest I wish he hadn’t because I am the one who has to listen to all his fucking dramas on the phone. Honestly, I’ve told him to man up and get some balls when this girl messes him about but he still persists to ‘try’ and work it out with her. She is a model and other than that she has absolutely nothing going for her other than a pair of legs she struggles to keep crossed but men are visual creatures and love the whole trophy girlfriend bull shit so his bad….

This one night he phoned me up for advice regarding his relationship and frankly, I was more than BORED of listening to his repetitive dribble. I have told him many times to get shot of this tramp but he still goes back. This night I lost my patience, told him I didn’t have time for his boring shit and hung up the phone on him. If I am honest with you, I was harsher than that towards him - sometimes, for your own sanity, you need to be cruel to be kind with these bell ends.

Seconds later he calls my phone and I let it ring out. NOT INTERESTED! He calls my phone around ten times. I had to turn it on silent. I didn’t answer…. Anyone would think he was in a frigging relationship with me the way he carries on!!

It was late so I got ready for bed and was about to fall asleep. Drifting off and I hear the buzzer on my door phone ringing. I ignored it because it was way past mid night and who would be ringing my buzzer at that time? It continues to ring and ring so I got up and answered.

It was him!! He was on the end of the door phone asking to be let in. The fucking mentalist couldn’t handle being ignored and had gotten on his bike (literally) and cycled over to my apartment to speak to me in person.

I asked him down the door phone “Erm, what the fuck are you doing?” to which he replied “I won’t allow you to snub me. Please let me in, I cycled all the way here…is there a place to lock up my bike so I can come in?”

It was like a scene in a really cheesey fucking film!

You see? Men are mental more so than women because I tell you something for nothing, there ain’t no fucking way I’ll ever get on a bike or any other form of transport in the middle of the freezing cold night in order to speak face to face with a guy who hung up the phone on me!! NO WAY! Not even if humanity depended on it.

Anyway, I let him in and we had a cup of tea. He basically told me he had cycled over to make sure we were still ‘friends’ despite me hanging up on him earlier.

I felt a bit put out if I am honest….I was in my pijama’s and literally anchoring for him to piss off back home so I could get some sleep.

What would his girlfriend have thought? Tramp.

Men…the mind boggles. But the more you ignore them or treat them with disdain, the harder they try to seek your approval. Sad really…

Cougarized

It recently occurred to me when walking home one evening how the men in my sexual past have all had different relationships with their cum so I thought I would share them here.

• One guy who was, I don’t know if this is relevant or not, 16 years older than me loved his cum. So much so when he used to wank himself off, he would take great delight in doing so in the cup of his hand. He confessed to me that he enjoyed to raise his full of cum cupped hands to his nose and have a jolly good sniff.  As I was a young innocent at the time, I thought this was normal. Later on in life I learned that this is far from normal. In fact, it is pretty fucked up.
• Then there was the guy who liked to taste his cum on the day of sex because he said “Well, if I won’t swallow it, how could I possibly expect you to?” Kind of a considerate and thoughtful guy I thought but then it hit me…did he eat his cum on a regular basis and when I kissed him, was I just kissing a cummy mouth? Not nice. NOT nice.
• Then there was the guy who was actually physically sick when he saw his own cum. I could never understand that but then again, he was pretty pathetic. So basically this dude would cum on me  but then if he got some on himself, he’d rush off to the loo to wash any remnants of it off his body whilst I laid there soaking in his stinking man juice.
• Then there was the guy who enjoyed shooting his cum to the walls and then taking note of the distance it went. I have to admit, I did find that quite funny and I encouraged him. Well, c’mon, if we’re not laughing at them , we’re crying because of them!
• Then there was the guy who wanted to cum in my mouth and kiss me before I even swallowed it.  I assure you that relationship lasted all of one conversation….
• Then there was the guy who didn’t cum at all…. that relationship lasted all of five minutes.

Ah men and their cum…..but girls, when we break it down, the real cum question is:

Why does cum exit the japs eye whitish then turn all clear like water after a few minutes of it being out in the open??????

Ever noticed that?

Next time your boyfriend cums, check it out and send me your feedback.

I’m into science.

Cougarized.