Spray Lord
So I had a history with this guy. We’d met when I was 19 but nothing had ever happened. Then our paths crossed again a few years later when I had just come out of a serious relationship and just needed some light sexual relief.
I dropped him a text to see if we were in the same country and we were so he invited me to his for the weekend.
We ate pizza. Pretended we were interested in one another’s conversation then went to the bedroom for the obvious nocturnal activities.
Things were getting intense when suddenly he needs the toilet. I thought that was strange but let him get on with it. He comes back and I decided to visit his crown jewels. So I’m down there giving them a polish when I had to stop and ask: “Did you wash your cock?”
Reason I asked was because, literally, I’d never tasted anything so chemical. It was like some sort of mouth wash had been passed across his helmet. So anyway, we’re going at it for literally an hour and I’m getting somewhat concerned that he has a problem because how has he not come? I was getting sore and bored. I had to ask him to stop.
At the time I felt bad about myself…. was it me? Was I just not attractive enough? Why had he not come? It’s always about round two?! Just give it up now and then save the rest for later!
The next morning he goes to work early and I sleep in. With his flat empty and to myself I thought I’d have a snoop. Oh come on! You telling me you’ve never done that? I looked through his bedroom drawers and cabinets. Not a lot to report.
But then I went to the bathroom and looked in his bathroom cabinet, right at the back, there it was. IT stood out because it was the only item that had an English label on it.
There it was kids….. DELAY SPRAY: A desensitizing spray which delays ejaculation. It all made sense.
He was about to shoot his load and ran off to the toilet to numb off his cock with a spray of the delay!
After literally losing my bladder to the bathroom floor with a volcanic stream of laughter, I left his flat and got the train back home. As soon as I was home, I went to my friend’s house, ate biscuits, watched MTV and literally laughed for hours. Still laugh to this day when I picture him in my mind.
Ah, that was Spray Lord. God bless him and his delay spray.
