So I was recently dating this guy who literally behaves like an emotional yo-yo despite actually being older than me. Nothing annoys me more than men who talk crap and don’t know what they want. I mean, when you go to a restaurant and you are ordering from the menu, you know how you want your meat cooked or if you want peas or mushrooms or not. You don’t sit there boring the waitress to death whilst you debate in your mind whether you want a few fucking peas on your plate or not! THAT is how simple this thing is in my mind.

Anyway, we were having a drink and he was dribbling on and ON about this and that all relating to how he was feeling about me and I have to admit, he was boring me to tears so I just came out with it:

“Look, what do you want from me right now? Do you want to fuck me every now and then or do you want to take me/this thing seriously and see where it goes? Because really, I don’t need the background, just give me the facts. I won’t mind!”

I thought he would appreciate me cutting in on his ‘I’m trying to explain how I feel and I’m vocalising an essay to this girl’ speech but the guy just seemed stunned and for about 30 seconds just looked blankly at me. I thought he had turned into a wax sculpture or something…

He then said: “There’s just no grey area with you is there?”

This got me thinking….Is there a grey area? Frankly, with me: no. Are we talking about wants and needs here or old school uniforms and clouds? I mean, bloody hell. What is a grey area? Surely when you reach 30+ you either know what you want or not? The grey area just creates unnecessary confusion!

Men are always complaining about girls who want to talk about emotions and their feelings and what they want and don’t want in great detail. Just about every guy I know HATES when his chick drops that shit on him. Well, frankly, I don’t have time for that type of crap anymore. If I wanted to talk about emotions, I’d see a shrink.  Why over complicate what could be a very simple situation or even set up?

 My philosophy is simple: Just get to the point and do as you say or jog on to someone who doesn’t mind you wasting their time.

Relationships would be far easier if people just eliminated this ‘grey area’ and thought with their head and not their heart which, I’d like to add, is just an organ that pumps blood around the body. In no way shape or form does it evoke emotions. Actually it’s a pretty fucking ugly organ too.

Hallmark are obviously deluded.

Cougarized